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Life

Tuesday, July 11, 2006, 12:41 AM

This is by right an entry i'm supposed to post earlier just now. But oh wel!! Posting it now!!

Ok so here i am in the library studying for biochem UT. Yes, i skipped school again, but i simply can't help it.. Actually, i woke up late today; was watching the finals of world cup last night. So yeah, that explains my absence from class.

I'm so afraid for my results. I just hope i can so srape through this semester and slog my ass out for the next. Just hope i can is all....

Life isn't going very great for me, though there are certain events and encounters which brighten up my life. But come to think about it, life has nvr been a bed of roses for me. Lols... Even so, life is still beautiful.

I always used to think life is meaningless. Same routine every day. Going to school, coming back home or go to work and then when night falls, go to sleep. I always find my life so mundane. Nothing interesting happens in my life. Just the same old thing.

But i began to change this mindset of mind, thanks to my buddy Joshinee... She, in a way, enlightened me. She showed me that life is actually beautiful; sacred. She told me this which baffled me for a while. Despite my bafflement, i couldn't help but to agree with her.

"Life is very very meaningful , life teaches us reason , it teaches us the different kind of ppl that exist in this world , it teaches us that difficulties make us stronger , it teaches us that god and death is the only certainty in life , it teaches us that time should be wisely spent, it teaches us that we should not always have too close bonds or attachments with anybody , it teaches us independence."

I realised that i'd been seeing life in a different light... a more...pessimistic way rather than optimistic. Why didn't i see Life in the way Josh was seeing?

That day, i went home and for the first time in my entire life, i did some soul searching of how i've led my life. And it came as a shock to me when i realised that i hadn't done much in life. Then how can life sucks?

Yes, i've met different kind of people during the journey of my life- People who actually stood by me even during the darkest times of my life, and also people who actually plot for my downfall. And i've befriended most of them. And what made me realise the goodness of life is that these people come and go.

I remember believing in 'Friends Forever' and 'Eternal Friendship' a long time ago. But i've finally come to from my innocent and ignorant belief. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing. You usually meet someone whom you could click well with and soon you'll be close of friends. Only for that period of time. When the both of you part from each other to another journey of your lives, you tend to lose our previous freindship gradually.

Eventually everything would be all but memories. And probably ten years from now, when you meet him/her again, you'd prolly acknowledge each other. Just look at the irony of life. You were once close of friends and then suddenly you become strangers.

People come and go. That includes my friends now.

They may be my friends for a very long period of time, but when it's time, we will have to part one day eventually; whether it is from earth or to move on with our lives.

This brings back the words Joshinee told me- not having close bonds or attachment with anyone.
A very true statement from her. Having too close of a bond with anyone actually risks one. At least that's what i've come to believe. It brings much more heartache to you if something were to happened to him/ her or by him/her.

Take my late grandmother for an example. I was so really attached to her. Very. Even though i don't really show it to others, even to my grandmother (when she was alive), i care for her alot- much more than my parents. She was my inspiration, in a way.

But when she departed from this world, i was shattered. I felt so much pain within myself. It was just too overwhelming that i wish that it was me who died not her.

I didn't come to terms with it for a while until i realised this is reality: Farewell is part of life. You bid farewell almost everytime you depart for yet another voyage of your life.

Life. Simplistic yet sophisticated.